There were lots of fantastic questions on the last post so it made the most sense to lay it all out in the same place especially since there may be lots of folks who are considering long term trips right now.

Q – Have you considered renting out your home while you are gone?

A – Yes. There are some big problems with this idea though. First, there are 6 of us in 1,200 sq. ft. and we homeschool. The prospective money we could make off AirBnBing our home didn’t offset the cost/burden of moving out the school room set-up and our personal belongings. That, and in the time of COVID, the liability/risk factor is high. If someone got COVID, could they say it was because we didn’t adequately clean the home between renters? Lots of hassle. Very little reward.

Q – Does your health insurance cover you out of state? Will you get stuck with a huge hospital bill?

A – We have the worst, best insurance out there. We have an HSA which means we pay 100% of all medical expenses out of pocket until we hit our deductible (that’s the bad part). Once we hit our out-of-pocket maximum, our insurance pays 100% of medical and prescription drug costs for the rest of the year (that’s the good part). The out-of-pocket maximum is less than our emergency fund. This would be the same whether we were in-state or out of state but it’s something everyone should look into when traveling, particularly during a pandemic.

Q – Should you use the trip money to pay down your mortgage instead?

A – This is a hard call. We saved up money for a fall trip and my husband got some unexpected side jobs so we aren’t going into our emergency fund or stealing from another budget bucket BUT, I recognize this experience won’t be what it would have been had we not been knee deep in a pandemic. There will be no stops at amusement parks or zoos. There won’t be family dinners at fun restaurants. That makes me sad. But at the same time, I also recognize that I’m in a situation that is unlikely to happen again (please Lord, I HOPE IT WON’T!). I have a huge chunk of time to watch my kids fish in lakes and rivers and explore backcountry. I’ll pay my mortgage for two months longer to take advantage of this opportunity.

Q – Would you like to get into a debate about traveling during a pandemic?

A – As fun as that sounds… No. ; ) I understand that we all have strong opinions and I respect them but I’m not open for a debate. I’ll explain the finances related to traveling during a pandemic but not about the pandemic itself.

A couple more things I think are important when trip planning…

Double Check Your Insurance Coverage

Yes, look at your healthcare but also look at your home insurance and your car insurance. Are the limits right? Do you feel comfortable with your deductibles? Do you have enough insurance? Do you have roadside assistance?

Make Sure Your Affairs Are in Order

Yup. I’m getting morbid on you. Chris and I have very detailed wills. They outline what to do in lots of situations. What happens if we both die? Who gets the kids? Who is the executor? What are our health directives? It’s all there. Before we leave on big trips, we double check to make sure everything is still the way we want it and we call my mom to remind her where the information is. We don’t do it because we are morbid, we do it because the last thing I want my loved ones worrying about when dealing with loss is trying to figure out what to do with my kids or my house or my car. You should have this in place NOW but you should regularly revisit to make sure it’s accurate. Travel is a good reminder to double check.

The post Long Distance/Long Term Travel and Finances appeared first on Blogging Away Debt.

Original Source: bloggingawaydebt.com

A reader writes:

Recently, my boss started attending personal therapy (she shared this information with me unprovoked) and shortly after starting her sessions she discovered Brene Brown. Her interest in Brene has moved from simply showing a video during a group meeting to having us all read through one of her books.

My concern comes from the fact that in addition to reading the book as a team, we now have a weird “group therapy” sort of session weekly where we’re expected to have done some homework (reading and completion of “exercises” in the workbook).

In addition to these meetings, every day each team member fills out and completes this short survey:
-Name
-Feeling
-Intensity of feeling
-High point
-Low point
-Daily goal

It ends up looking something like this (names changed, as it’s one of my coworker’s recent posts):

JANE DOE
Feeling: Exhausted
Intensity of feeling: 10
Low point: INFANT’S NAME is crying at the bottom of the stairs while I’m in the office. He barely slept last night, his croup is awful and I feel like a crap mom.
High point: Meh
Goal: Make a dent in the Brene Brown book. I did make my Square Squad!

In addition to just feeling like this is generally weird, I have a personal problem with this as someone who has a mental health disorder. Reading this book has triggered sessions of me profusely crying out of nowhere, and having flashbacks of abuse. (I have a C-PTSD diagnosis due to an abuse history.) There is not a single person on our team who has any sort of psychology/social work type of degree either.

Am I being weird about this just because of my own personal experiences? Or is this type of task expectation at work normal, accepted, okay?

No, this is not normal! It’s not okay either.

That said, in the past two years I’ve received a small handful of letters about offices doing things like this (to the point that I wrote a Slate column about them at one point), so something is going on in our culture that’s making some managers think this is okay. But I want to be clear that just because your office isn’t absolutely alone in doing this, it’s still not common, normal, or acceptable, and most people would object to it.

This type of thing is clearly intended to be supportive in some way — “we care about you as a whole person, not just as a worker!” — but in reality it’s horribly boundary-violating. Lots of people don’t want to share their personal emotions in a workplace setting.  Sometimes that’s because what’s going on with them emotionally is way too big or serious to bring into their office.  Sometimes it’s because sharing in the way requested could open them up to discrimination (particularly when they have a non-mainstream identity). Sometimes it’s because it’s actively bad for their mental health (like your PTSD). And sometimes — much of the time — it’s just because they rightly feel it’s no one’s business.

And this just isn’t what most of us are at work for. Most of us want to do our jobs, get results toward our goals, have some pleasant interactions with our colleagues as we do that, and then go home. Lots of us want to save deep personal introspection for friends, partners, or therapists (if we want to do it all, which we might not and that’s okay too).

You noted that no one on your team has any kind of training in psychology. Even if they did, this still wouldn’t be okay because of all the reasons above. But certainly that makes it even more egregious. Your manager is mucking around in an area that can be big and serious and consequential, without any qualifications for doing it. (But again, even with loads of credentials, it would still be inappropriate to do at work, particularly as a non-optional group activity.)

If you want to push back against it, I’d tell your boss you’re finding these activities harmful to your mental health rather than helpful. If you’re comfortable sharing this, you could say it’s at odds with mental health work that you’re doing on your own/with a therapist. (If she pushes you about why, you can say, “That’s more personal than I’m comfortable going into at work.”) Ask that the meetings be made optional, and that people be able to opt out without any kind of penalty. Even better, if you sense anyone else on your team isn’t fully enthused, talk with them ahead of time and then have this conversation with your boss as a united front.

And managers: You are not a doctor or a therapist or a life coach. You are there to get work done. If you want to support people’s mental health, you can offer excellent health insurance, be flexible with people who need time off for various forms of mental health support (whether it’s therapy or just a day off to avoid burn-out), and be thoughtful about the levels of stress you ask people to take on. That’s it. Leave people’s emotions and personal lives to them to manage.

You may also like:my boss wants us to all share our mental health needs – at every meetingwe have twice-daily mandatory group therapy at workour boss pushes us to share how we’re doing emotionally at team meetings

my manager makes us do mental-health surveys every day was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

Original Source: askamanager.org

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