History Buff has now been working his full time job for a month now. But his “adult” obligations have not increased at all. He continues to pay his cell phone and auto insurance bill through me as he’s on my accounts. But otherwise, he manages his own monies and does not contribute to the household.
Sea Cadet was sent home early from his “year with Americorp” due to the virus and has been seeking employment of any kind. But he is hoping to stay in his trained profession of EMS or emergency management. Meanwhile, he has resumed his duties as volunteer firefighter is now taking the Fire I course to become a firefighter. I have been covering his cell phone and car insurance bill while he has been serving with Americorp after his savings ran out and am continuing to do so while he finds work. He gets a bi-weekly stipend from Americorp and he uses it for his living – gas for his car, oil changes, etc for now.
The Next Phase Towards Adulthood
After much research and speaking with trusted advisors, I have decided it is time for the twins to take the next step into adulthood. And frankly, this has probably caused me more sleepless nights and questioning of my parenting than most decisions I have made…so I am certainly not sure I am right. But this is what we are doing.
The twins will now pay $250 per month in rent. This will help cover the household bills, the groceries and such. All of which they contribute to. They will still be expected to do weekly chores as we all do to maintain our living environment. And they will continue to pay their own cell phone and auto insurance bills through me.
When their phone contracts end, they are to evaluate moving onto their own plan. It will be their decision if they want to stay under my account or move out onto their own. But either way, they will begin paying the service provider rather than me. And if they do remain under me, they understand that it is a 2 year commitment.
They must both begin preparing and researching moving out. At this time, the goal for that is next Spring. This time period was chosen to 1) give them plenty of time and 2) free me to make a move of my own after Princess graduates and heads off to college (assuming Gymnast chooses to remain with his dad.)
One more caveat, if either of them decides to return to school full time, they are always welcome to live at home, wherever that may be, I will do my best to help support them. But at this point, neither of them is planning to pursue additional schooling at this time.
These changes kick in for History Buff beginning in May. And for Sea Cadet in June. (If Sea Cadet does go to Virginia to work at the summer camp, he will not have to pay rent while he is away, but he will resume paying his other bills as soon as he has a full time job which we anticipate will be any day now.)
What do you think? Have you had to “phase” your adult children into adulthood and out of the house and your financial care? It’s a foreign concept for me and my siblings as we were all anxious to move out. And when we did live with our parents in adulthood, there was a specific purpose and time period already in place. Again, I don’t know if this is the right move, but it’s what I’ve come up with.
The post It is Time for My Adult Children to Adult appeared first on Blogging Away Debt.
Original Source: bloggingawaydebt.com
Many commenters balked at the $250 I have decided to charge the twins in “rent” beginning next month OR when they have a full time job and are not full time students. Let me explain my logic a bit. And believe me, I did not just whimsically decide to do this or magically pick a number out of the air.
I consulted several seniors who are much more wise and experienced then me, including my own parents who have several of us children (there are 5 of us) move back in with them for periods over our adulthood. In addition, I spoke with people my age who have had to move back in with their parents at some point or another to see how it worked. I don’t know anyone who did not move out of their parents’ house right after college or as so as they had a full time job. That was everyone I knows first priority.
Excluding the whole pandemic situation which is so far from the norm that there is no way to predict or plan for it or around it, the consensus was that charging adult children to live at home was a standard practice as was having a move out goal. The feedback on saving and returning some of that money was split, some returned all when they moved out, some returned part and many did not. In all cases, this was not implemented in “hard” times for the adult child or as a punishment, but rather when they were gainfully employed and did not seem intent on making any forward moves on their own either in education or financially (savings.)
Monthly Living Expenses
First, let’s break down our monthly living expenses that I considered when coming up with this number.
includes Water, Electric, Gas, Sewage, Trash
Based on these numbers, asking the twins to contribute $250 per month towards living expenses is asking for approx. 15% of the living expenses.
Before you jump on me…
The utilities number is an average from the last year.
Depending on the season and temperature outside, the monthly cost varies. And I can tell you that in just the month since Sea Cadet and Gymnast have returned, our water bill has jumped an extra $20 per month.
While I must keep the internet for work, I can tell you the twins would not live without high speed internet for their Xbox addictions. And they definitely make use of it.
While my last budget showed a reduced budget for groceries, we have added two young men back into the house and we are all eating 3+ meals here a day. It’s taking every trick I know to stay at this number.
Other Adult Responsibilities
And just so everything is out there for full review.
The twins each pay their own cell phone bill and equipment fees. (Both have purchased phones on payment plans.)
The twins each pay their own car insurance. Since they are currently sharing Sea Cadet’s car, it is half what it will be once History Buff buys a car.
Sea Cadet has not been paying these bills since last August when he went with Americorp, I have been covering them for him. (His car insurance was not active while he was gone, but he was re-added when he moved back home.)
He is now paying $25 every two weeks from his Americorp stipend until he gets a full time job and begins paying in full.
Both twins contribute to weekly chores around the house, as do the younger two children.
These chores take no more than 1-2 hours per week. And none of the children are paid for this chores, it is expected as part of living here and maintaining the cleanliness of our home.
Each twin has their own bedroom, own closet and while we share the shower in their bathroom, they are the only ones who use the toilet, sink and storage in there.
While, yes, Sea Cadet’s bedroom would traditionally be the living room, it has a door on it and I moved all of my office stuff out when he moved back, giving him his own room. (Gymnast and Princess are sharing the largest room in the house and they both use the bathroom in my room as their main bathroom.)
I think this will give the BAD readers a more complete picture of how we live.
And more importantly, how I came up with the number to charge in “rent” for my grown kids who are no longer full time students, or even part time students when they have full time jobs.
Original Source: Living Expenses Broken Down
Curated On: https://www.insurifind.com/